Dec 20, 2018

One Sharper Image Catalog Too Many

The Thoughtless Ones

Here's to the thoughtless ones...°

The misfit toys.
The junk.
The trouble.
The half-melted plastic pegs.
The ones who break, indifferently.
They're not fond of honest description.
And their manufacturers have no respect for their buyers.
You can suffer them, trash them, curse them or re-gift them.
About the only thing you can't do is recycle them.

They don't change things.
They push the human race nowhere.
While some see them as the thoughtless ones, we see truth.

Because the people who are thoughtless enough to buy you any of these lousy products, are the ones you can choose to lose.


Again with the Fist of Stupidity.

I wonder how many days pass before this thing refuses to sync with its base system, and one of the plastic clips breaks and leaves one padded cup dangling limply by its audio connection (a wire of the thinnest possible gauge, no doubt.)

"...without cutting into them!" Yeah you're just plunging two golf-tee-sized holes into the thing.

I'm having a hard time imagining the existence of a person who takes these two things seriously at the same time:
  a) Their steak grilling,
  b) A grill-fork with an integrated 2-cent LED light

"For decades I've been standing in the yard in the dark, randomly stabbing at the grate of my Weber. Finally I can see! I'll probably win even more backyard-grill contests now!"

As for the Ultimate Car Wash Caddy... well... the LaCroix is a nice touch. Problem is, it lets slip the truth of this thing's size. It's roughly three soda cans tall.

"Finally I can sit down and wash my car!"

(Imagines Chris Farley trying to squeeze into a Big Wheel next to an F-350.)

"Yes this is definitely increasing my life satisfaction."

(Two of the plastic casters crack, neon-green plastic bits skittering under the truck.)

"Least I got my LaCroix still. I like this here Pample-moose flavor."

° Here's to the crazy ones.

The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.

Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.