Dec 22, 2018

One Sharper Image Catalog Too Many

Heated Personal Massager


Would they...?

(Surely not.)

So, this time the photo editor and the copy editor strike a balance of competing issues in a pretty interesting way.

The copy never says anything super-specific about “sensual areas,” à la The Personal Massager. It’s clearly got all sorts of specs that leave little to the imagination (or maybe they leave a lot? 102° is really hot! Like, hot tubs max out at 104° for safety reasons and these things can get within 2 degrees of that?). There's nothing overtly anatomical, though. A naïve eight-year-old (as opposed to one with an internet connection) wouldn’t make any sense of it.

“Bathtub!? It’s a submarine!”

That said, the photography side of the shop doesn’t try to con anyone by showing it crammed against someone’s neck. The photo’s pretty generic.

“Here it is, and uh… here’s some leg. You’ll figure it out.”

"...for use in shower or bathtub [...] plugs into an AC outlet..."

s a f e !

(time passes)

Okay, I watched the video. This thing has additional trade-names that (surprise!) don't make it into the nearly-family-friendly catalog.