Dec 11, 2018

One Sharper Image Catalog Too Many

USB Discreet Personal Recorder

SOMEONE, APPARENTLY: "Oh finally, a voice recorder that's discreet."


You know what's not discreet? A THING YOU HOLD UP TO YOUR FACE, LADY. (Also it can't record 'smiles.' You should probably open your mouth.)

The thing that gets me about this "discreet recorder" is the subtle (?) creep factor. It starts with an ad for X-ray Specs, next to the Sea Monkeys in comics for little kids, and grows from there.

(I was fascinated with that page of junk ads in the back of comics, as a kid. Smart enough, I think, to know that x-ray specs couldn't deliver on their delightful promise, but fascinated nonetheless.)

"Perfect for business meetings and college lectures," muh huh. Why not pitch me a minature unnoticeable webcam "for videoconferencing!"?

"Don't press Play on that thing. It's probably not admissable, I don't want to hear it, and if I do I'll likely have to fire you as a client."

~ every divorce lawyer who sees one of these tossed on their office desk, probably.

Also when was the last time anyone (who's not a professional A/V dork) paid any damn attention to how many Ks are in their WAVs? Who decided to buy/not-buy this product based on these specs? (A: Nobody bought this because of the specs; they bought it because (a) they're a goddam creep or (b) they needed a gift and they're beyond thoughtless.)

Just use your phone.

Don't be gross.

(You really want to sell me something in this form-factor, Sharper Image? "Hard-sided Automatic Chewing Gum Dispenser Fits All Standard Long-Rectangle Gum Brands E.G. Doublemint Big Red Fruit Stripe Latest Version 2018.")